Across me on train: Little lady sat back all the way in her seat and her feet don't touch the ground. Even my feet touch the ground!! So little! Eeee

Observations from train: guy holding a smell capsul, inhaling it and praying? Talking to capsule? What does it smell like? Why on the train? His eyes are closed

On train observation: All the Chinese people got off at the Chinatown stop. I knew that would happen. Called it.

25!

She's twenty-five years-old today. Good job hot pants, you did it.

Here's to hoping 25 will kick 24's ass. Lot's riding on 25. Go GO Go Go.

Pretty good

Nicole is in town this weekend. My cousin and I are similar in many ways- we look at the same things when we shop for things; where it's made, what material, cost to quality value analysis. We lucked out with the weather being a dream when we went to the flea market this morning. She got herself a coat, I got myself some some peace. I'm working on a big assignment for school right now. It's a little uninspiring, (hence this post) but it's being inspired by the fact that I'm seeing my mom and aunt tonight and my man next weekend. So it's going to be done by tomorrow to be edited next week.

Nikki is taking a nap and I just want to curl up next to her. It feels really natural having her here. Where my sister and I sort of bump around for breathing room because each of our independent personalities need its own space, Nikki's passivity is fitting in nicely. That's not to say that having my sister here a month ago was bad- it was really refreshing to be reminded of unconditional love. But for better or worse, my sister is my doppelganger, and we don't fuck around. She's strong, she's smart, she's the best and I miss her everyday. I hope one day we'll live in the same city, just, not in the same bedroom like we were forced to growing up.

Nikki likes my apartment. I'm excited for my mom to come see it. Although sometimes I feel like all I do is clean and 'maintain' this place, I forget that it's actually pretty nice. It's big. The floors are nice. The ceilings are high. My bedroom is cozy. My study (I have a study!) is perfect. For the most part I love it although there are always the little things that I can do without. I guess my living situation won't be totally perfect for a while, not until it's my own my own (with the one I love presumably) and so I live on. As long as it's not Hiscock House all over again, I shouldn't die. I should, in fact, try to remember why I enjoy it.

I should also, in fact, remember why I'm out here. Law School. And with that, my half hour of procrastination shall come to a close, and I return to my assignment.

But real quick, my friend Gina totally channeled my music choice of this morning. Must be in the air...
This Song.

Ugh I almost cried in the library

I've become ridiculous. Seriously. I've lost all Amy-isms since... hmm. Since starting law school? Since moving to Moldova? Since graduating college? I feel so out of whack and out of my element at school in this way that is so lame!

We were assigned a practice exam problem just to see how we're understanding the material. It was returned to us today with comments. As the professor was passing them out she explained something about check marks. I understood that there were six people who got a check mark, and those people needed to seek help asap, go to student affairs, and really figure out how to learn the stuff. I get my paper back and see a check mark. A CHECK! It felt like an arrow through my brain with my brain bleeding into my heart. I have had this feeling a lot lately- thinking I understand something and then getting the results back showing that I'm way worse off than I thought.

I took my paper and went to the library and reviewed all the professor's comments over and over until I understood what I did wrong. I felt defeated and at the same time like "this is it"- time for me to pull out all the stops and get my shit together. I didn't come to law school to be a fuck up. I'm not a low-half grader, I'm just not.

Later, after I took a delayed and packed bus home, my friend from school and I started texting back and forth about our classes and I confessed to her that, yes, I got a check mark. She was like, 'yea, so did I. You're fine!" I didn't understand. I explained to her that, no, check marks were bad, only six people got them. She called me immediately and clarified that six people received check mark MINUS, everyone else received a check mark. She got slightly worried too and called our other friend just to confirm, but she was right. A check mark was fine.

Fine.

Gah, I'm such a mess! I cannot, cannot let myself get crazy in the way I have been. Alternately I need to stop being so lazy and weird when I'm home. I have to kill the internet or something because I seem to get no work done at home. When I stay at school to study I end up spending a ton of money on food and am just dead when I get home. What's better? Tomorrow I do the latter to make sure I stay on task. Otherwise, I'll be home 'studying' and end up writing another blog entry about how hard school is, and I think we can all start seeing a pattern...

Just a check mark. I'm doing fine.

Lunch Break Blogging and Legal Reading

I'm sleepy and interpreted 60 degree weather to be a lot warmer than it is and so am dressed too lightly. Dressing in New York is like Moldova all over again. I am either over-dressed and burning up, or under-dressed and chilled to the bone. I can't win. In Moldova I was just getting the hang of wearing thermal tights under jeans, and I move here and sweat like a crazy on the train. I get to school looking disheveled, my make-up smeared and my hair plastered to my forehead. Today I yawned all through a perfectly interesting class because my body couldn't keep warm.
At least my apartment is warm. I sit in it not unlike I did in my one heated room in my apartment in Ocnita; scantily clad and in one spot for hours.