Bringing it back.

I'm sitting on my parents' deck looking out at the school children loudly climbing into yellow buses and large SUV's and minivans. I'm watching this one kid walk past all the buses into the neighborhood behind this one- he's wearing a bright yellow safety belt- like he's a "safety" for the school- he helps kids at the cross walk. I remember in fifth grade I wasn't allowed to be a safety because I called some kid an asshole ("say 'pillow' instead." a teacher who wasn't even my teacher suggested.) I wasn't even upset I didn't become a safety because I would walk to school in the morning and they, my classmates who were safeties, would be standing outside freezing until the bell rang, and even in my childhood I understood the value of sleeping in and warmth. Sure, they then would come inside and be served hot chocolate and boast about it, but ultimately sleep always beat their stupid hot chocolate that didn't even have marshmallows.

I'm smoking a Davidoff cigarillo that my dad gave me but wishing it was a joint. I've been living at my parents house going on three months now and days like today, where I have nowhere to be, and have the house to myself, I still feel a tinge of teenage mischief and want to do something that I wouldn't do when my parents are home. However, at my age now, I pretty much do anything I want to whether they're around or not- including sleeping all hours of the day with my best friend Roxanne. Roxanne is the only one who really loves me. That is, Roxanne really loves me while my mom is out of town. When mom is home Roxanne usually loves her more. Traitor. My parents must think I'm the weirdest ever. I'm so mopey. "Hmmm Hummm" all day from me. My dad asks daily, "Are you bored?" I am taking classes at the community college but that's dumb too. I'm a blast to be around these days I imagine. I sort of feel bad for cramping my parents' style. But not that bad.

Ah, so, post Moldova life, is, well, as anticlimactic as many days in Moldova were. It's a continuation of this 'relaxation' that everyone keeps helping me justify. My parents say, "relax! Just relax! You'll be so busy and stressed in Law School, in The Future, in Life, just relax now while you can!" My Moldovan boyfriend, Misha, would always say "be lazy! You'll have plenty of time to be busy once you get back to America!" My head says "whatever, whatever. Just do whatever. It doesn't matter. TRANSITION."

I thought I wasn't going to write in this anymore. I left Moldova without any conclusions on this and then once I arrived home figured no one wants to read about my lame life living with my parents in the suburbs while I wait for law schools to figure out what they want already. No one will want to read law school waiting rants, I don't even like reading law school waiting rants. (That's a lie, I refresh law school message boards all day, in between trashy blogs, news, and watching TV.)

As for Moldova, I'm still in touch with folks there, thanks to the internet. I'm on odnaklassniki.ru which is basically Russian Facebook without all the pokes and relationship status, and I e-mail and call people on Skype. I hear mixed things about what's going on at the sport school/Action Club. I've heard aerobics is completely over, I've heard that over 80 people go to the club. I know pretty much who is telling the truth and who is exaggerating to keep me from forming any new opinions about them. However, most of the opinions are exactly as they were when I left, for better or for worse. I really liked being out there. It felt important and interesting even when it wasn't. Though it was really quiet in terms of my social life or things to do, it was different and showed me a lot about my personality. Being back home, with little in terms of my social life or things to do, I'm just coasting in this weird way. I work out a bunch but realized today that I'm still pretty out of shape because I'm in denial that I really am that lazy. I am obsessed with thinking about where to go next or things I should've done (maybe I should've continued being abroad somewhere during this time, right now. Picked up another language. Traveled some more.) I have a shortage of friends but at the same time not at all because there are people around here who want to hang out but I'm sort of a bitch and no one is funny/interesting/good enough plus I'm here in Detroit temporarily and thus treat my relationships as such. My good friend(s) out here have their own stuff going on and there really isn't that many of them left anymore. Plus I pine for new friends.

Holy shit. This just became the blog I didn't want it to be. Ok, that's enough of that. Let me refocus on Roxanne for a second. That bitch is so sneaky. She totally knows how much I love to sleep and gets all up next to me and looks at me and then subtly doses off in an inviting manner I simply cannot ignore. One. Two, when we go for walks and she goes potty, she kicks up back legs afterward and I LOL every time. Three, she ate cottage cheese and it got all over her face and she didn't even know it so I let her walk around like that. HOW EMBARRASSING FOR HER RIGHT?

So it's back on I guess. I felt bad folks have me linked and I don't even write anymore, so maybe this will get me my points back. All things considered, it's nice being back.